I put a wall around me not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to tear them down.

I do realise, I'm so hard to reach through.

I realise, I push people away sometimes.

But that's what I do, I push people away.

I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid of getting attached.

'Cuz when I get attached, it's hard to let go or to forgive, or to do anything without the person.

I'm complicated. I'm broken. I'm damaged.

There you are, a sincere confession about my insecurities and my fear.

But you know what hurts me the most?

When people who got me attached to them, starts ignoring me.

Yeah, that's the reason why I hate getting attached: I hate getting disappointed. I do.

Ya, dari kamo seja bha tu suma.

Who am I to force, right?

Kmo let me get to used to being around you.

Then tiba2, kmo ilang.

Lagi sakit, bila ketara mengelak.

Thanks.

---

Just finished shower.

Had PAD test.

seriously, I am EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINED.

exhausted and drained to the point that no tears can come out.

and it's all building up inside. brick by brick.

and I just hope you guys don't regret when I disappear from this life.