Happy Chinese New Year!

Hello there :3

Happy Chinese New Year darlings!

It's dad's year. Le year of le snake.

Hoping for a prosperous new year :D

Went back to kampung few days ago. It woulda been fun if it wasn't for that whatsapp I received the night before new year. Ruined my mood. But I did have fun with le family. And most importantly, the Angpau's. Ehehehehe. And of course, just like every other year, a member gets possessed by a wandering soul. This year, it was Uncle Jim Sungkian. Happened at nearly midnight, yesterday, at Great Grandma's house. I stayed at Grandma's house. Didn't wanna bother myself with all those. Let the elders deal with that.

^ dahi jendul

But unfortunately, my vacation was cut short. Went back to KK this morning. Had to send ma for dialysis at 11. So I went back with le lil brahh and ma. Kinda unfair, cuhs le sissy's got more angpau. I didn't collect from koko Man Chung, Mang Kit and cheche Man Yee yet. UNFAIIRRRRRRR. But, what to do. *wipes fake tears

After sending ma, le lil brah and me went to... mana lagi kalau bukan 1b. He wanted to buy some anklet weights or something. Tu ba, pemberat di kaki tu. For training purposes, dia bilang. Whatever la ya. Then went karoks with him. Guessed what song I chose? That song. Sendiri sakit bila menyanyi. Hahahahaha.

Anyways, regarding lil brahh. Pity him actually. He's the only one left in Kuala Penyu. Form 5, so better finish schooling there. Thought of bringing him to le movies tonight, but I accidentally fell asleep td - -'

Missing my baby boo, Constantine Maxmillan Sondoh :(

Memek, aunty miss you ody :( 

~~~

So, let me get this straight, you read my blog, and you don't know what I feel about you? Oh okay. And I thought you were quite daft already. 

I had a lot of things to say to him that night. But I was too exhausted, too..emotionally drained. And frankly, I was too tired to say anything. I didn't even want to open what he sent me. But after a few seconds of trembling quite terribly, I did. And of course, I regretted it.

I could've attacked him that night, with questions, with doubts, with provocations, but as I said, I was too emotionally drained from all this. Refraining myself from sending anything to him was hard enough already. Do you know how hard it is to get used to not do something you're used to doing? Aha, just pretend you understand that last sentence, okay? Hahahaha.

And the best part? I kept everything to myself, as usual. I don't want anybody's sympathy. I don't need it. No tears gonna fall from these eyes, believe me. It hurt. But as I said, I don't need any sympathy, not even from myself.

But whatever la. I lived a lie for more than half a year. Another year won't kill me. "Just a year more and I'm through with all this" THIS. THIS is what I keep reminding myself when it's hurting me too much. Just one more year, Reenie, and you're through with all this. Hold on. Chin up girl. You're gonna be fine. You survived Lee, you survived Kicii, this is nothing. You just have to convince yourself, that "Everything's gonna be alright."